Department Meeting Minutes No. 01

DEPARTMENT OF HOLLOW AFFAIRS
MEETING MINUTES

June 12, 2026

Meeting called to order at approximately 9:12 a.m.

The meeting was delayed due to uncertainty regarding who was supposed to call it to order.

Present:
Acting Assistant Clerk
Deputy Clerk 
Moss Inspector 
One squirrel who claimed to represent the public

The squirrel’s credentials remain under review.

Old Business

Pending Investigation No. 01 (Tiny Door)

The door remains present.
The door continues to attract attention.
The Department remains unconvinced that opening it is a good idea.

Motion to “just see what happens” failed unanimously.

Pending Lost Property Notice No. 1 (Mitten)

Three ownership claims remain active.
No claimant has demonstrated practical mitten knowledge.

Matter tabled.

New Business

A complaint was received regarding a woodpecker conducting construction activities before sunrise.
The woodpecker maintains he is operating within normal business hours.

Legal review pending.

Administrative Matters

The Department records were opened to public review this week as requested by the wind in response to the incident with the raccoons last month. 
Initial response has been encouraging, which has created several new administrative concerns.
The Department continues pretending to understand how websites work.

The filing cabinet labeled IMPORTANT THINGS remains empty.
Discussion lasted seventeen minutes.

No conclusions were reached.

Tea was consumed.

Adjournment

Meeting concluded at approximately 10:04 a.m.

The squirrel attempted to second the adjournment despite not technically being a member of the Department.

Filed by: Acting Assistant Clerk

Status: Approved pending review. Filed because we aren't certain who is supposed to review them anyway.